One thing's for Certain

Recently I read a blog by Seth Godin where he discusses the ‘teaching of certainty’.  Although, I agreed with a lot of what Seth said regarding the fact that in schools we can lead students to believe that life takes a certain pattern and then when they join the real world, it all falls apart as they discover that few things go to plan.  However, in my experience, there are some things that are certain

• You certainly will have your resilience tested more than once in your lifetime
• How you have looked after yourself and your own wellbeing will certainly have an impact on your ability to ‘bounce back’ from any crisis that you face
• If you start now you will, certainly, have begun to build resilience and wellbeing for the future
• Taking some time to stay in touch with others (and not just through social media) is, certainly, one way to help increase your wellbeing and build resilience

Tomorrow why not take 15 minutes out of your day to contact that friend, or family member, who has been on your mind but you simply haven’t found the time to call.  Staying in touch with people can really help to build resilience, maintain communities and make a difference; not just in your life but also in the lives of those you contact.

Happy Chatting

Visualisation – can it work for you?

Of all the Mindfulness practices, this has to be the one which is most difficult to perfect…..yet can have a major impact if you can get it right. In simple terms it is the ability to form a mental image and then keep that image as the centre of your focus.  One person who tried the approach after one of our introductory sessions explained how his golf handicap had really improved by visualising a long straight tee shot. It sounded so easy but in reality had taken many months of false dawns before it began to pay off. 

We recommend that you start on a very straightforward basis of picturing something that makes you happy, perhaps a favourite place, a particularly fond memory, a family member or close friend. Keep that image as your focus whilst you take some mindful breaths….breaths where you are aware of the flow of air from your nostrils down through your body.  You can also use these breaths to focus your mind on any pain and exhale them away. Then as you maintain that focus push any other images gently to one side. Don’t be frustrated if they emerge from time to time in the periphery but keep the primary image constant. Most people find they can only visualise with their eyes closed and even having mastered the technique the majority still find this the best and most fulfilling way to maintain the right focus.

The next level of visualisation can allow you to focus on a series of words which form the mental image, for example, a favourite quote or lyrics from a song. This time focus on the words themselves and how they are constructed. Be aware of the font, the size of the type or the style of handwriting. Visualising in words is more difficult again because you don’t have the benefit of a picture. Keep persevering and the letters will more readily form the desired mental image.

If you’re interested in finding out more about the practice of visualisation and how it can help you to be focused in the moment please do get in touch.

It's a Hard Knock Life - the need for resilience in every day living

Many of you will be familiar with the movie and/or the musical Annie, originally, featuring a cute, ginger, orphan living in the 1930s and the song the children sing about how tough life is for them.  The song simply reminded me of life and how tough it has become to simply exist and be happy and healthy in the 21^st Century.

A recent study by the charity Shelter suggested that over 37% of households do not have the financial capacity to cover their housing costs for a month should they experience job loss.  Given that it takes 7 weeks for any type of benefit to kick in and over 13 weeks for you to get any assistance with a mortgage (information based on the actual experience of a close family member) then that makes pretty scary reading.

In 1967 2 psychiatrists Thomas Holmes and Richard Rahe looked to prove the causal link between stress and illness.  They came up with the Holmes Rahe scale that shows 41 stressful situations and its propensity to cause illness.  Looking at these 41 stressors I was struck by how many simply pertained to ordinary life.  The top ones are predictable, covering death and loss, but also on this scale are things like outstanding personal achievement, work conditions, holidays or vacations and of course Christmas.  Many of the top 41 elements covered financial issues e.g. loss of job or loans or bills etc.  Again every day occurrences that crop up for people all the time.

I am not even going to begin to suggest that a little positive thinking is going to change this.  Trust me, I know from personal experience how hard just coping day to day can be.  However, it is during these trying times that we really need to draw from our bank of resilience.  Being resilient enables us to keep going and to be able to continue to move forward looking for the next opportunity.  Like any bank we can only really draw out what we put in; if we don’t want to add to our stress.  By that I mean we have to build and deposit resilience in order to draw from it in trying times.  This is one account that you really do not want to go into overdraft.

Doing ‘something’, even once a week (but once a day would be better) that helps us to take our minds off our troubles helps to keep our resilience account in the black.  In the blog ‘Being mindful – does it make a difference’ Ian Wade gives up hints and tips on being mindful and how it works.  Mindfulness is only one thing that you might try to help with this.   Another suggestion is using an inspirational daily email, like the ones I receive from the Brahma Kumaris, when you see it pop into your inbox take the pleasure of time and a little silence to contemplate what it says and how it can benefit your life.  Just a couple of minutes of silence, for yourself, to simply recharge and take your mind off the daily stressors, will help to keep you going. 

Give yourself the gift of silence and peace for just two minutes – think of it as a small deposit into your resilience account.  Because we really do live  a hard knock life and anything to make it easier is worth the investment.

Silence and Peace

Bouncebackability: do you have what it takes to overcome life’s hardships?

First, think about how aware you are of the problem and the options which present themselves as possible solutions. Next, consider whether your outlook is sufficiently positive to ensure that you will see through the option that you decide to take. Don’t be half-hearted, trust in your capacity to keep going in spite of likely setbacks along the way.

Look for support from your networks, be it family, friends, colleagues or people facing similar issues. You don’t have to do it alone because that could make the challenge even harder to get through. Often when you are facing a difficult situation it can appear to be enormous, so be prepared to break it down into smaller pieces. If those pieces still seem too big then break them down even further. You will feel really good once you’ve tackled those first two or three and your confidence will grow and give you the strength to be more ambitious with those activities which follow.

If you’re struggling to take the step that feels the toughest one to make then focus on releasing whatever tension you have. Be willing to let go of your emotions by experimenting with different approaches. For some, it is simply writing down your feelings in a diary; for others it is talking with a friend; increasingly more people are practising mindfulness or find calmness through meditation (previous blogs by Jane Joseph and me will have given you some insight into simple mindfulness practices).

It may sound obvious but do not underestimate the importance of healthy eating, exercising and building in the right amount of time for sleep. With so much to do the temptation is always to pack more in and it can be too late when you’ve got used to six hours of rest whilst your mind and body needs more.

If you feel like you need to develop the skill of bouncing back then get in touch to find out more about our programme of stress prevention, stress reduction and ways to become more resilient. The great news is that this everyone can learn to do it better.